Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
