He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
