You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize