You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
