I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
