i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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