You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
