Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
