That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
