'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
