i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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