then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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