Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my shit smells like andre
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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