when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
this boner is exhausting
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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