I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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