This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
