my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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