To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
