We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
