Quick, to the slutcave!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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