i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
