Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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