Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Im part way to drunk.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
