he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
