Sober January is a disaster.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
