while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize