the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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