haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We are two peas in an std pod
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
