she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
