she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
