Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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(850): View more from Florida

I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.

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(415): View more from California

so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.

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