Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Farmville is her only friend.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
