thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
