Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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