I hate your face
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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