Screwed.edu
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
