And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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