Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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