what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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