there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
