did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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