My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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