i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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