he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
