Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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