Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
