I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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