so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
