Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
