I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
