how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
