i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have already put on my inside pants.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
