just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
