if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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