so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
