My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
