I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
