she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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