i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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