My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
