What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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