cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
