my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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