Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
