lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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