since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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