I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
